Meeting Mana Pools

I am way overdue.  And I suppose I should have started by introducing you to Mana Pools first.  But if you have read my previous three posts on our recent trip to Mana Pools, you know that I could not wait to share our anything-but-perfect experience with this UNESCO World Heritage Site.  Though I have little longing to return in the near future, this wildlife sanctuary in northern Zimbabwe is certainly a picturesque retreat for the adventurous.  This remote piece of wilderness sits as a hard-to-access home of a billion bugs and a billion beautiful things to see. Now that I'm done complaining about our disastrously funny trip, here is some info on an incredibly wild beauty found along the banks of the Zambezi River.

The interest of animals takes precedence for most visitors to Mana Pools.  I was blown away by the scenery, however, enjoying view after view of colorful brilliance in an intense sunshine only those in southern Africa can truly understand.  (When I need a happy thought in the future, I will for sure think of our sunny moments on the banks of the Zambezi.) The Zambezi Valley sits as a western extension of the Great Rift Valley, a huge geological fault that extends down the continent of Africa.  Mana Pools covers a significant section of the Middle Zambezi Valley, extending from the Zambezi River in the north to the escarpment in the south.  In layman's terms, there are mountains and bright blue waterways everywhere.

"Mana" meaning "four" in Shona, refers to the four large and permanent lakes ("pools" refilled yearly during the rainy season) that mark former courses of the Zambezi.  As one drives into the park, mopane and dry jesse forests:

suddenly give way to woodlands of acacia, fig trees, and mahogany: 

The change in vegetation marks the southern edge of old river terraces made by a meandering Zambezi River over thousands of years.  These waters and vegetation are the perfect combination to provide homes and food for the plentiful and diverse wildlife found in the area.   

Large numbers of crocodile and hippos can be found in the waters, and acacia loving animals like elephant, buffalo, and eland all add to giant herds of a variety of antelope and numerous packs of predators.

 

Above hyena lay in the shade near a herd of impala.

 

 

There is no getting away from animals in Mana.  Here an elephant wanders over to help husband Kurt look under the hood.

Editor I am not.  If only you knew how many pictures I chose not to post… but still I always have too many!  I keep thinking that when the day comes that I choose not to take pictures of the incredible -surreal- wildlife I see, it will mean I have been too spoiled by Africa and don't appreciate it enough anymore.  And I dread the day that should ever, ever happen.

 

The Mana Pools Twelve Step Program Continued: The Aftermath

 

Step One: You are done with your memorable Mana Pools trip.  As soon as you get home, that is.  You forge a river to escape the pending rainstorm that will trap you in the worst national parks lodge you’ve ever seen.  Well, since Gonarezhou.

 

Step Two: Drive five and a half hours home, arriving after dark with a child who has come down with a bad cold on the car ride home. (This "cold" will last a week and involve three doctor's visits, three medicines, feared malaria, and four days of 103 degree temperatures.)

Step Three: Leave all luggage by the door.  Feed everyone before heading for a bath and bed.  Notice a number of bites on your child’s head as you wash him.  Ponder why your husband does not want to bathe until morning.

Step Four: Awaken to a child covered in bites.  Find some on your ankles and hands.  Realize in the daylight that you are missing part of one of your wheels.

Step Five: Get a phone call from the Mullens; Luke is worse and going to the doctor.  By the way, do you have bites? 

Step Six: Start the arduous process of unpacking and laundry.  After doing two loads, get a phone call from Julie: BEDBUGS.  The dr has taken one look at Luke and diagnosed us all with bedbugs.  The good news? They are not the death sentence they are in the US.  African bedbugs do not transfer as easily.  Most likely they have stayed at Mana Pools, that place you are now cursing.  Still, plant a seed of paranoia in your mind. Then start the laundry over, washing and drying everything in the highest heat possible.

Step Seven: Realize that your lovely husband who slept unbathed in your bed may have just infected your mattress and, oh, entire household.

Step Eight: Strip the bed. Isolate it. Do laundry like you have never done before.

Step Nine:  Watch as your bodies slowly develop more and more bites, covering you with an itchy pale rash.  Gorgeous.

Step Ten: Take your car to the mechanic for the crazy sound. Whew. Sigh of relief.  Only $35 dollars for an engine cleaning. Nothing is wrong with the car.  Oh, except for that piece of the wheel you must now buy. And oh, except for the bedbugs that may infect it. Park the car in the sun and try to cook it.  Pull the car seat apart into pieces and wash. Repeat.

Step Eleven: Sleep in the guest bedroom. Repeat for two weeks.

Step Twelve: Wait 14 days to see if your bedbug infestation is gone, or if you have now infected everything in your home. Oh, the things we did for a little place called Mana Pools.

Many thanks to Dan and Ryan Mullen for some of the great pics!!

The Mana Pools Twelve Step Program Continued: The Stay

Step One:  Initially feel contented with your national parks lodge surroundings.  Then FREAK OUT as you read the BED BUGS comment written in the last entry of the guest book.

Step Two: Strip the beds search every mattress, thinking the info you know about NYC bed bugs will be applicable to Africa’s.  (It’s not.) Do all of this very loudly while friend Dan tries to sleep with a migraine. 

Step Three: Find no evidence of bed bugs, look at the sun going down, think about the five and a half hour trip you just finished, and decide to stay.  After all, who could know about bedbugs so quickly during their stay?  The guest book must be incorrect.  Still, stay very paranoid the rest of the trip.

Step Four: Watch as Luke, the youngest of the Mullens, downs Benadryl after Benadryl (strong, drowsy allergy med) as his eyes swell, his nose runs uncontrollably, and hives break out on his skin.

Step Five: Eat a sweltering but delicious dinner and relax next to the river, hearing quaint hippos grunt across the water to each other. Watch your child step on a thorn. Become swarmed with bugs.  Go inside.  Watch as black bugs come out of all the living room furniture and scream and dance as your four year old cries while you get them out of his shorts and shirt. Panic more and rush everyone to bed under the safety of mosquito netting.

Step Six: Boil as you drift off to sleep, listening to the night-long sounds of the hippos and elephants grazing by on their way in and out of the water.

Step Seven: Awaken to a beautiful morning, bright and early.  Grab some pumpkin scones before getting in your not-sounding-quite-right-anymore car and heading to various pools to take in the early morning wildlife.  Return to the lodge when you realize you have forgotten tow ropes and have almost gotten stuck a number of times.

 

 

If we hadn't seen a lot of animals, I would have blamed Dan's Bob Marley pants.

Step Eight: Return to the lodge to find that despite the locked doors, screens, and bars on the windows, monkeys have broken inside and eaten everything they could get their hands on.  Imagine them licking your toothbrushes as you play a game called Find the Monkey Crap, watch Julie turn using baby wipes into a fine art, and grieve for the now empty Ziplocs (I used to call these baggies, but locals laugh at this) where chocolate cookies once resided.

Nothing will bond two people together like cleaning up monkey poo.

Step Nine: Enjoy your first Egg McMullens before locking things up again and heading out to the parks office.  Take note of how miserable Luke is as he downs three times the human dosage of Benadryl and tries to keep his eyes open.

Jonas happily finds a snake skin while breakfasting.

Step Ten: At the parks office find out a big storm is coming to Mana Pools that night.  Request a guided hike with a less than charismatic man named Amos.  Get in the car to head to a good spot, then stop at the edge of the river.  Find the river (the only way out) rushing high over the bridge, too high to cross. It has been dry our entire stay, so where did all of the sudden water come from? Amos will say that they must have had a large storm up north in Zambia. Dan Mullen will say the dead hippo clogged the cistern below.  Either way, there is no crossing the river.

 

Step Eleven: Drive to a different spot, wondering how you will ever get out of this place.  Take a guided hike with Amos and an AK 47, tracking hippo through poisonous trees and foot-deep mud.  Make sure it is over one hundred degrees.  Finally come to the mouth of Mana River, where it flows into the Zambezi, and take in the amazing view.

Amos leads the way.  Way to wear neutral colors, Mullens.

 

Step Twelve: Look at Luke, who is sleeping with toilet paper in his nose and no longer has eyes.  Think about the storm to come and the fact that one extra day in the park means we will each get only one meatball for dinner.  If the monkeys have not already eaten them.  Hurry back to the lodge and pack everything as fast as possible. Hose Luke down -literally, use a hose- and find a hornet’s nest in the living room furniture. Yes, you will forge the already risky river to get out as soon as possible.

The Mana Pools Twelve Step Program: Preparations

Step One: Convince friends (the Mullen family) who also have a free voucher with the national parks to go to Mana Pools with you.  Make sure they are not campers and are very hesitant.  This is perfect, as Mana Pools is a notoriously remote, rugged, and dangerous must-do on every traveler’s adventurous Zimbabawe list.

Step Two: Watch as every local around your friends freaks them out about things like flooding rivers, car problems, tsetse flies, and wild animals.  Find out the forecast for the weekend is torrential downpours and give your friends an out.

Step Three: Become surprised when your friends don’t take it.  But do listen to them joke constantly about cancelling or going home early.

Step Four: Remember two days before that everyone will need malaria pills.  Scramble to go to the first available dr you can find for a prescription.  Watch as she looks everything up in a medical book on her desk.  Try not to laugh out loud when chit chatting with the dr turns into finding out that she was actually a vet for twelve years before doing a two year “round” in a hospital to become a doctor.  Scramble to get to the pharmacy and start all eight travelers on malaria pills immediately.

Step Five: Change your departure time at least three times, dependent upon how timid or confident each family is feeling at the moment.

Step Six: Spend a day cooking and packing, getting extra petrol, ice, coolers, and tow-ropes.

Step Seven:  Drive 4 hours to the edge of Mana Pools, situated at the bottom of a mountain.

Here Jonas weathers the long car ride with a handful of dried meat known in Africa as biltong.

Step Eight:  Have the woman at the gate tell you that you need a permit to have two vehicles in the park. You must drive back up the mountain for said permit. (The permit is free, but it would of course be too easy to just keep a pile of them on hand at the gate.)

Sorry, Jonas.   No riding on top of the car today.

Step Nine:  Drive another hour and a half into the park. Pretend you are on The Dukes of Hazard.  Though the crossing rivers are not bad, there are killer puddles and pools of deep water and mud in the middle of the roads.  Make sure to get stuck and thank heaven for the tow rope.  Stop at least ten times to kick the cracking rims of your tires back on.

We are originally from rural Iowa, but somehow this is the first time we've ever had to do mud running.

Here friend Dan wades in what smells like fermented juice and elephant urine to tow our car.

Step Ten: Come upon a hippo kill on the only bridge into camp.  See hyenas and marabou stork and vultures, taking their turn after the lions have left.  Drive through the party after taking pictures, as you must get to the other side of the river.  Sorry, hyenas.

Step Eleven: Arrive at the national parks lodge to check in. Come upon a human party, where beer is forced upon you after you provide the hosts with salt for their meat.

At the parks lodge we are greeted with elephant bones and jars of elephant fetuses.  Ryan -of course- tries to buy some.

Step Twelve: Arrive at your lodge. You think it is awesome, until you read the last entry in the guest book:  SEVERE BED BUGS…