I Take It Back, Trial Separation Over

Difficult?  Difficult is trying to give up this blog, as it’s kind of like the final nail in the coffin of admittance that I no longer live in one of the most beautiful places in the world.  It’s difficult when my readership continues to rise, despite my month-long break from writing.  It’s difficult when I realize that a world suffering from environmental issues, terrorist violence, and scares like Ebola needs more than ever to educate itself about other cultures and far-off places.  And it’s also difficult when I continue to read news about my former country of Zim and want to share my thoughts about the systems of corruption and renewal we saw over and over and over during our time there.

So I’m taking back what I said in my previous post. Perhaps it was my own personal second-guessing, saying to myself, "Who am I to have a blog about Africa anymore??" And perhaps it was the self inflicted deadlines and not the blog itself that left me feeling like I should give things up rather than to pull a slight bit back.  I wasn’t producing the amount I personally had in the past and so I threw the baby out with the bathwater. Much. Too. Hastily.

 So I’m making a new promise. I’ve stayed away from this blog for a month with great difficulty, and I’m done with the trial separation. I’m not giving up this blog; but I will admit it just won’t be as actively kept-up as when I lived on the continent.  This time around I won’t give myself deadlines, or make promises about how often I will post.  But when I find things relevant to African things I find fascinating or know a lot about, or when I feel like sharing a piece of my history, or when I recognize yet another way my Zim experience has flavored my own personal evolution, I promise to spend time sharing it with my readers. 

I’ve been doing a lot of job hunting lately, as well as showing friends around our (temporarily) European lives. It’s helped me to put into perspective things that I know and skills that I have.  Thus far in our new but very temporary Spanish lives, I have to admit it. I want to hang my head in shame when I think about how we’ve accessed a new culture here in Europe verses during our time in Africa. My limitations in my new life have revolved around my digestive needs (still battling that lil’ African stomach illness 20 months later), monetary restrictions, and linguistic frustrations.  And at the same time that these failings of mine have been highlighted, I have been able to recognize that I can be proud of what I learned in Africa. 

I can say that I learned a great, great deal about Zimbabwe, Zambia, Namibia, Botswana, South Africa, Malawi, Tanzania, and Mozambique over the last few years. More than most of my counter-parts in the same situation, I dove head-first into the cultures around me, tried new foods, enjoyed incredible adventures, and shared a part in thousands of stories currently creating new paths on what used to ridiculously be considered a hopeless continent.  I know my southern Africa.  And the piece of my heart that does not care about political safety or the comforts of a thermostat or proper healthcare or my child’s formal education will always live right there on its plains. So "who am I to have a blog about Africa??" I'm a girl who knows a thing or two, and, most importantly, is ready to keep learning.  That's who.  You won´t find me giving up as easily next time.

After looking at the wonderful world of cubicles and commutes, I’ve decided my dream job would be for someone to call me up and ask me to personally give them a tour of southern Africa.  I would do it well, and comfortably, and safely, and with a true knowledge of life outside of the colonial bubble that is most of tourist-made Africa.  Any takers? 

If you’ve ever wanted to go to Africa but don’t know how to make it happen, let me know.  If you’ve ever wanted to be connected with a legitimate African non-profit but don’t know how, let me know. If you want me to tell you what my first hand opinions are on some of the biggest needs of southern Africa, let me know. And in the meantime, while I desperately consider how we can eventually return someday-somewhere, I will keep Africa alive in my heart and at the top of my blog roll.  Stay tuned - whenever I decide to post again.